Under the Skin
by SouthGal
Summary: This is my 'what if' story of Christian and Ana meeting in high school, staying together, and how their lives unfold. I'm not good at summaries. Obviously.


**Author's note:** Hi everyone! I'm new to posting here but not new to fanfic and this has been rolling around in my head for weeks now. I started reading and writing fanfiction 15 years ago, but I haven't written anything in 5 or so years and I have never posted anything in such a public space like this, so I'm a little rusty and nervous. Anyway, I love so many of the Ana/Christian stories on here and decided to write my own. I've read stories that pick up where the books left off of course, reinterpretations of the books or characters from scratch, stories where they met and were together in high school, lost touch and came back together again. Well, I'm going to explore the what if's if they had gotten together in high school and stayed together. How would their lives unfold? How would BDSM figure into everything, if at all? What about Ana's own issues from childhood? I've been outlining this for a couple months, on paper from age 16 until about age 30 and outlined in my head beyond that.

A few things i'll go ahead and note ahead of time:

- I've made A&C the same age and this starts when they are 16 but it's been a_ loooong_ time since I've been there myself so I'm not sure if I'm up to date on my teenager lingo. I going on memories of what it was like for me in high school in the early 90's and listening to my own 3 teenagers talk to their friends.

-I'm using characters from the books in different settings- Leila and Jack both go to school with Ana and Christian. In my story, both Jack and Christian were born in Seattle, not Detroit.

-Bear with me if I get a few minor book facts wrong, it's been a while since I read them.

-And finally, everything ultimately belongs to E.L. James, I do not own or profit from anything related to FSOG.

Please review and tell me what you think. If you like it, I plan to update ever week or so. :)

* * *

_August 30, 1999_

**Christian POV**

"Hi, Christian!" Redhead. Chloe, I think.

"Hi, Christian." Brunette. Shy smile. Leila. Cute but annoying.

"Hello, Christian!" Blond. Mary something. Maryanne, Marybeth? I don't know. And I really don't give a shit. But she does has a nice rack. I give them each a tight smile and a nod and keep walking, I can feel their eyes on me as I pass. _Quit staring at me!_ Fuck, it's just a face. If they really knew me, they'd be running in the opposite direction. Today is the first day of school and as I walk these halls with the puke colored walls and feel eyes boring into the back of me, I know eleventh grade is going to be pretty much like tenth. The guys will be friendly enough with me because I'm Elliot's kid brother - everybody loves Elliot - but not actual friends since I don't do the friendship thing. And the girls who like my pretty face will try to touch me and talk to me and get a seat beside me in class. All that effort for nothing of course, since I don't do the girlfriend thing either. No hearts. No flowers. No friends. I have Elena and that's enough. She said no hearts and flowers, that people like us aren't capable of that kind of emotion, that kind of stuff is for fools anyway, love is for fools. So with Elena it's no emotion, only fucking. Hard fucking. Fantastic, hard fucking.

And the other stuff. Which I'm not too crazy about. Okay, so some of the other stuff I do like. Not gonna lie, getting tied up and flogged by a sexy older woman who is dressed in stilettos and leather can be pretty hot. It's when she goes too far, that's what I don't like. Sometimes I don't think I deserve all the pain she gives when she punishes me. She's even touched my chest twice and I wanted to rip off my own skin both times it burned so bad. And I hate, _hate_ what she lets the others do to me. But she says I need it, I need to test my limits, and she doesn't like when I safeword. I guess she's right, I think I do need it. I mean, I _have_ straightened myself out since getting with Elena. My grades were excellent last year, I stopped drinking, and I only got into two confrontations the whole year, both with that fucker Hyde - I have no idea why but he despises me - and even then there were some other kids around _and_ a teacher who said he provoked me, so I didn't get into too much trouble. I even decided I want to go to Harvard like my dad and started focusing my studies on that goal. I joined the rowing team and actually made Varsity Eight this year. I'll admit, I'm pretty psyched about that. I really want to improve my speed this year and get some good video of the meets, hopefully I can earn a spot on the Harvard Crew.

When I turned sixteen a few months ago and finished tenth grade with the fourth highest GPA in my class, my parents bought me a car. A car! It's a dark gray '99 Volvo C70 LT and a convertible and I fucking love it. I was a little surprised they got me such a 'sports car' but they know I am Mr. Safety when it comes to stuff like that and would never drive in an unsafe manner anyway, and Volvos are known to be safe. Not to mention Elena would beat me into next week if I ever got a ticket for anything. Elliot acted all jealous but I know he loves the truck he got for his sixteenth. When he was fifteen, he came right out and told our parents that _if_ they wanted to get him something big for his sixteenth birthday and_ if_ it happened to be a vehicle, he would like a pickup truck. He's so into building stuff, always hauling something in that truck, usually going to our grandparents' house to build whatever needs building and repair whatever needs repairing. I didn't expect to miss him as much as I have this last month since he left for college. He's only about four hours away and says he plans to come home one weekend a month. We'll see. I think that was more my mom's rule than his own idea.

Getting the car wasn't even the best part of my birthday, that came when my dad told me he was proud of me. He said how great it was that I was making so many positive changes, not getting into fights, getting good grades and thinking about my future. And then my dad, James Carrick Grey, told me he was proud of me. He actually said, "I'm proud of you, son. Very proud," and patted me on the shoulder. He's proud of me! And Elena is responsible for that. Not totally, I worked my ass off for the grades. But she was and is the incentive to turn things around. If I do well in school and other areas of my life, I get fucked, literally. If I don't do well and disobey the rules, I get punished. Simple as that. So I _do_ need it, I need that punishment and reward, it keeps me on the right path, keeps me focused. I couldn't do this without Elena, no way.

She said I couldn't.

I felt kind of guilty accepting the car. Elena is a family friend and my mother's closest. That is sort of bad I guess. Somehow I don't think my parents would understand that what we do is helping me and that I want it. We're not really doing anything wrong, it's totally consensual. Well, except for the times she ignores the safeword. But that's only happened four or five times in over a year. And she said she knew I could take it, that I didn't really mean to safeword. She's right, I can take it. I need it.

I hear the warning bell ring through the halls telling me I have ten minutes to find my assigned locker and get to my homeroom so I pick up my pace. As I pass the cafeteria I hear, "Hey Chris, slow down will ya?" I'd recognize that nasally New York accent anywhere, of course. Kimberly Bain. I stop and turn and there she is, all six feet of her. Short curly black hair, light brown skin, bright green eyes, very pretty face. She has a killer body too, but fuck me she has a voice like The Nanny. Makes me want to bust my own eardrums sometimes. But what I said about not doing the friendship thing? I have to rethink that when I'm around Kim. If I do have a friend, it's her. She kind of forced herself on me last year; we were both new to this school, her mom had just gotten a new job so her family moved here from New York, and I was new because I had been expelled from the third school in two years the previous May. We had the same homeroom, the same lunch, a history class together, and ended up being biology partners. I had always sat alone at lunch and liked it just fine that way, but that first day she just came right over and sat with me, uninvited. She said we were both new and needed to stick together, for a while at least, and that she didn't want to sit alone and look like a fool anyway so I was stuck with her. Then she proceeded to tell me her life story. Her father David is something she calls a 'good ol' white boy' from Alabama and works for an electric company. Her mother, Alexandra, was an Ivy League educated black woman from Brooklyn, one of the first women to attend Harvard as a full time student. A corporate attorney just beginning her career. David, a lineman at the time, was sent to New York to help restore electricity after several days worth of severe storms knocked out power to close to a million homes and businesses. During a period of free time, he was wandering around Manhattan when it started raining. Having no umbrella and no luck getting a taxi, Alexandra saw him and took pity, giving him a quick lesson on hailing a cab in New York City. Kim said that her parents say it was like Clair Huxtable meets Andy Taylor. I've seen reruns of both shows on cable and I've met her parents. It's an accurate description. They shared that cab and the rest is history. Kim said it was love at first sight. Whatever that is. I remember she got super pissed when she told me that part and I rolled my eyes. Anyway, her dad didn't really care where he lived and her mother did care where she lived, so David moved to New York City, they got married and had Kim. I think they must be pretty brave and love each other a lot, they got married at a time when the idea of interracial marriage was still commonly rejected. Hell, it's not entirely accepted now and we're heading into the 21st century. Ridiculous.

"Hey Kim, where you headed?"

"Just looking for my locker. _Supposedly_, they gave me a locker number that actually exists this year." I chuckle to myself knowing she is talking about her lost locker fiasco last year. "I have Mr. Brooks for homeroom. Who do you have?" she asks as she snatches my schedule from my hand.

"Hey!" I try to grab it back but she's too quick.

"Oh, don't get your panties in a wad, our schedules aren't guarded secrets you know. Oh cool, you have Brooks too. And we have second lunch together again! Woohoo!"

She bumps me in the shoulder as we continue down the hall and I give her a little grin back and roll my eyes, "Oh great, so I have to endure 45 minutes of your obnoxious self every day at lunch this year, too? Wonderful!" There is sarcasm in my words but I'm secretly glad we have lunch together again. She really is a good… friend? Yes, I guess I need to acknowledge that I do indeed have a friend now. Huh. Who woulda thought? I don't really consider Elena a friend, more of a…. mentor. I wish I could let her meet my parents, they would be so happy to know I have a friend. But I'm not stupid, I know where Elena got all her information about my 'issues' to begin with. It would kill my mother if she knew Elena used what she told her in confidence to get to me. If I introduced someone to my parents, especially a girl, Mom would surely mention that to her at some point and the outcome would not be good. For me, that is. I don't even want to think about what the punishment would be and it wouldn't matter to Elena one bit that Kim is into chicks not dicks, the friendship would still be unacceptable and off limits.

"Yeah, Chris," she's the only person who calls me Chris and I still don't know if I like it, "I'm gonna cut into your 'thinking time' again this year." She gave me a sideways glance and smirk.

"Oh, shut up about that!" I try to sound mad but can't help a laugh escaping. Last year after we had been eating lunch together for a few weeks, I still didn't have much to say, she did most of the talking. One day she asked me why I never really said anything and I certainly wasn't going to tell her about the issues I have that make me not really like people in general, so I snapped at her and I told her I preferred to eat alone and that she was cutting into my 'thinking time'. I immediately realized how stupid that sounded and she just stared at me before she burst out laughing. Finally she calmed down enough to tell me to stop _thinking_ so much because that first day of school when she saw me sitting alone _thinking_, she thought I looked like I was concentrating on taking a shit. Bitch. Okay, so it was a little funny. Ha fucking ha. But I opened up a little more after that and now we talk about all sorts of things. Nothing too deep though, I definitely don't want her knowing about all of my fucked up shit. I'd lose her friendship for sure.

"What's your locker number?" I ask and Kim looks down at her own schedule.

"1960. You're 1940. The 19's are on the science hall, right?" Her brow furrows as she looks at the little map attached to her schedule.

"Yeah, my locker was down there last year, the 17's and 18's and behind us and the 2000's are upstairs." We make a left turn onto the math hall and pass a couple guys from crew who acknowledge me with a nod and "hey man" and I nod back. They're cool guys I guess, maybe I should try to be friendlier with them? I don't know, that's too much to think about right now. Another turn, right this time, and we're on one end of the science hall. As we make our way through the crowd, I see that fucker Jack Hyde standing by the bathrooms. He's seen me and is watching me with a look of what can only be described as pure disgust on his face. Kim sees the staredown and nudges me in the arm.

"Hey!" she says to me sternly to get my attention and I glance at her before returning to the staring contest. "Don't let him get to you this year, okay? You know he's gonna fuck with you just like last year, just don't fucking let him. We're going to Harvard in two years, right? And they are not gonna want someone who is a discipline problem." Kim decided she wants to go to Harvard like her mom and has this weird idea that we're going to share an apartment.

I'm still engaged in the staredown with Jack when Kim smacks me on the shoulder. "Hey, are you listening to me, Grey?" Grey? She's getting pissed. I finally pull my gaze from Jack and focus my attention back on Kim as she continues her lecture. She has a look on her face that reminds me of my mom. Geez. "You're getting the grades to get into Harvard and you better not fuck it up by getting into any fights with that ugly fucker!" She says fuck more than I do. Maybe even more than Elliot. "And besides all that, if you do get into it with him, _I'm_ gonna have to step up too, seeing as you're my best friend and all, and that's just gonna fuck up _my_ chances. He's a big fuck but I know we can take him if we have to."

I come to a dead stop in the hall and just look at her trying to hold in my laughter at her tirade. She looks back at me with a sweet little shit eating grin and I can't hold it anymore. Man, she is funny sometimes! I get myself together and now realize that during her little speech, Kim has subtly moved us down the hall, away from Jack, without me even noticing. He is no longer in my line of sight and I instantly relax. We're nearing the intersection of the science and another math hall, our lockers should be right around here. I start looking at the numbers as we pass, they go backwards, 1959, 58, 57….

"I know all that, okay Kim? I don't want to fuck up either, but he just won't leave me alone! I had never even seen the guy before last year and he hates me. I have no idea why but he does, I've never even said anything to him unless he spoke first. And what was that shit he was saying to me last time, calling me 'baby bird', what the fuck is that about?" I'm getting worked up again, what is this guy's problem?

"Well, I don't know what his problem is but just stay away from him the best you can, okay?" She hands my schedule back to me as she starts scanning the locker numbers as well. "Here look, we have a few classes together again this year, and lunch, so I'm gonna help you steer clear of him. I'll stick to you like fucking glue if I have to. Maybe he'll finally graduate this year and we won't have to deal with him our senior year." Okay, this is starting to piss me off. I can handle myself, I'm not a kid!

"For fuck's sake Kim, I don't need a babysitter! I can take care of myself and avoid that fucker. I don't need you watching my every move like you're my mother or something!" Shit, I sound like an asshole now. Kim stops walking again and I stop with her. She looks at me and I can see I have hurt her feelings. Fuck.

"I'm sorry. I'm just worried about you, Chris. I don't want you to get in any trouble." Her voice is soft and she looks down, maybe a little embarrassed for lecturing me like she did and yes I am definitely an asshole. She's my friend, my only friend, she's worried about me and trying to help and I'm a dick to her about it. I reach up and lightly squeeze her shoulder, preparing myself to do something I rarely do. Apologize.

"Hey look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you. I just…. I don't know. He gives me the fucking creeps! I just get this weird feeling that he knows something about me or_ knows me_ somehow, and that 'baby bird' crap? It's almost like I'm supposed to know what that means. Like it's right on the edge of my mind what he's talking about but I don't know what it is. Ugh! I hate that fucker. I hope he just stays away from me but something tells me he won't."

Kim looks at me sympathetically. "Yeah, I don't think so either. Hey look, there's your locker, 1940. And mine… ah shit, a bottom locker? Really? They can't give shorter people the lower lockers?" Ha! Her locker is directly below mine and both are right on the corner where two halls intersect. "Trade with me, Chris? Please? I'll have to twist myself into a pretzel just to get a book out of there!" She gives me a pout that she knows damn well does not work on me.

"What? Hell no! Why would I trade? I'm taller than you anyway." There is no way I'm giving up a top locker. She rolls her eyes at me and makes a big show of having to get on her knees to open her locker.

"Ugh, fine! This is just great, last year they give me the number to a locker that doesn't exist, this year they give the six foot tall chick a bottom locker. Who assigns lockers anyway? Probably Mrs. Prell, I know she hates me."

It takes three tries and I'm getting frustrated but I finally get the combination lock open and put my gym bag in the locker. The five minute bell sounds as I close the door and spin the dial.

"We better hurry, you know what a hardass Brooks is about tardiness," I remind her. He really is. We had him for biology last year and he acts like you're late if you get to class with less than a minute to spare before the final bell.

"Yeah I know, let's go." Kim stands to follow me and as we turn the corner…

_WHAM!_

Someone has run right into me, head on. Hard. I stumble back a little as the person braces against my chest and I instinctively reach out and grab around their waist in an effort to steady us both. I see a mass of wavy dark brown hair against my shirt, obviously belonging to a girl, and then, everything is slow motion. The mass dark waves moves away from my shirt as she lifts her head to look at me and oh my god I have never seen blue eyes this blue. She has pale, creamy, flawless skin that colors with a light blush before my eyes. She has full, pouty pink lips and she smells like vanilla and something slightly fruity. And those eyes! They are beautiful, _she_ is beautiful. And I am stunned speechless. I hear a faint 'uhh' noise and I hope it's not coming from me but I think it is. It now fully registers with me that her hands are on my chest and there is no pain, no burn, but some type of feeling, like a charge going through me, an energy between us. I can't breathe and I feel my heart pounding in my throat. We seem to realize at the same time that we are still grasping one another and we both jerk back. She looks terrified for a moment as she mumbles a hurried "oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, excuse me!" and she's gone. I don't want her to go! I reach out trying to catch her arm as she retreats. "No, wait!" I call after her but it's too late, she has practically sprinted down the hall and ducked into the girls bathroom. I turn back around slowly to face Kim and she is staring at me wide eyed.

"Oh shit Chris, she touched your chest, are you alright?! Oh my god!" She stands right in front of me but doesn't touch, not even a shoulder bump, knowing that more might be too much right now. She knows about my problem with touch but not the _why_. I reluctantly told her last fall when she tried to hug me the last day of school before fall break and I pushed her away. She's cool about it though and very respectful of my boundaries. For that reason, she is one of the few people I trust to touch even my arms.

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, shaking my head with the realization that yes, I _am_ alright, there really was no burn when she touched me. Why? "Yeah. Yeah, I'm alright. I think. Who was that, have you seen her before? Was she here last year?" She smirks at me and raises one eyebrow and I roll my eyes in return. Oh shut the fuck up.

"No, I've never seen her before. But no time to find out now, we're gonna be late. Come on."

We finally get to homeroom and find two empty desks. The roll call starts and Kim nudges me to answer when I don't even hear my own name called. How am I going to pay attention to anything else today? I only want to think about the blue eyed girl and her touch that didn't burn.


End file.
